I have been away for quite some time because I needed to think properly and because I didn’t want to spend my time on my computer when I was at home. I managed to get my thoughts in order and study each day, which has helped me a lot.
Something had changed. I don’t know whether it’s because learning about the Craft through the wiccan way suits me, or because my state of mind is different.
There are some things I have realised during my rituals and meditations on the subject. Which by the way proves to me that the rituals are already working because I can reach a certain state of consciousness which helps me clear my thoughts and have small revelations.
About the Efficiency of Spells
I am French, but I am learning the Craft in English. I’ve been reading, speaking, writing, listening to this language for years now (I’ve lived in Ireland for two years) so this isn’t a problem at all. But when it came to cast a circle for example, I felt like I was not able to properly do it, only because the words in English and their meaning hadn’t sunk in properly.
It is all about shifting. At one point I wasn’t able to feel anything and I am pretty sure I did not believe in what I was doing and why I was doing it: casting an imaginary circle around myself and my altar to protect both of us from negative energy and keep positive energy inside. And just like that, after doing it I’d say about 20 times, it all just clicked: suddenly I believed, because the words that came out of my mouth had true meaning for my mind, and it worked.
I could feel the difference. I had goosebumps through my whole body, not the ones you get when you’re suddenly afraid, but the ones you get when you feel a profound happiness. As if the air surrouding me inside the circle was… electrified.
About the delay for the words to actually get to me because they were in English, I really hope you understand what I mean. I know that at least one of my followers on this blog is French as well, but the rest of you probably are native english speakers so you probably never had such a problem.
I chose to work in English because it is easier for me (oddly enough): I’ve started this journey with english sources, and it would only confuse me to suddenly learn the corresponding words in French especially now that the words have sunk in.
About Taking Time to Listen & Observe
I’ve also come to another realisation: no wonder nobody believes in anything that cannot be seen because nobody listens or observes properly these days.
I’ll say something which I’m sure many will disagree on: from my perspective, as a 23-years-old woman, at the start of her career, living in Paris (by that I mean at the heart of occidental civilisation, far from primary concerns of life), it takes a lot of courage to take time for oneself, take time to think, to observe, and to listen.
It is an everyday battle.
I am constantly surrounded by noise, people, manifestation of hatred, stench… and I dream about the day when my sacred place, which lives in my mind for now and helps it stay sound, will materialise in a beautiful little house surrounded only by nature and its peaceful silence.
The important thing is: I don’t feel sad about all this anymore. Things will come at their own pace, at the right time. And if I am where I am today, it is for a reason.